malay cinderella

proudly announcing that i’m back to reactivating my former blog site at http://www.alizahasan.blogspot.com… please feel free to drop by and place your comments…will really appreciate that…thanks!

alhamdulillah…i am thankful to Allah for this wonderful experience…i get to know that i can actually become a two-faced person…you put on a nice and kind impression in front…but deep down you have some nasty feelings and somehow you are afraid of showing them because you don’t have the heart…and i hate myself for that…i’ve always hated liars and hypocrites…yet i’ve become one of them….reason being - i choose not to ruin my friendship though i am now totally disrespect this friend of mine…and i can assure that the same person won’t easily gain my trust…

i never regret anything that i’ve done because that’s my principle - i am the one in control over my life’s decisions…if it turns out bad, i will gladly handle the consequences…besides, it is of no use pointing a finger to blame while the other four fingers are blaming yourself…

however, it is against my rule when my decision was blindly manipulated…my friend, you may have your own reasons for doing so…honestly, i feel sad…i know the concept is kosher but if what you gain are coming from making people’s life become miserable - that is ‘haram’ for me…

seriously, i don’t know what is playing on your mind and how you’ve braved yourself into committing me into what i persist as a ’small trouble’…please don’t bullshit me…the truth will surfaced itself…

my advice is, i love you because you are my friend, i made a promise that i’ll be by your side no matter what…in happiness and sorrows…when you actually encounter a problem, you should have told me…we could actually share and i’ll definitely help you come out of it…on the other hand, you are not suppose to drag me into a vulnerable position where my life becomes miserable…don’t promise something that you are unsure of…and the worst thing is, don’t treat me as if i’m ‘brainless’…

positioning myself in your shoes, i’m still wondering why you have guts in cornering me…i guess maybe we don’t have the same values and obviously we don’t think alike anymore…i admire your spirit and enthusiasm but that doesn’t fit into my selfless behaviour…

so, i opt to put a stop for this ‘cover - up’ fraud…i ‘redha’ with what already happened…i’ve been comforted by an ‘angel’ (thank you darling) and we believed that to change the world, this shameful act/link should be broken…

to keep my sanity in check, i will keep on moving and appreciate my life’s lessons…i love my friends!

no offence yaa…whoever eat the chillies deserve the taste…caution:"sesungguhnya doa orang-orang yang teraniaya itu senang dimakbulkan Allah"…Aminn…Wallahu’allam bissawab…

it happened on a thursday night (28/03/2008)…i was on my way back to study at home for study week…i left UTP at around 6.30pm…and i did called abah at 6.58pm to inform about my homecoming…abah told me mama and him are going to the surau as there is a small event for ‘Maulidur Rasul’ celebration…i said ok since i’ll be arriving late at around 10pm that night…abah asked whether i want to speak to mama…then i said no no…just tell her i’m coming back…

i use the same road…the old road…somehow this time, the feeling’s different…usually,i’ll call and inform mama instead of abah…and i used to fill my tank first but on that day the PETRONAS service station in Tmn Maju was offline…so i can’t use my credit card…i decided that i’ll stop in Teluk Intan…

and guess what?!!i was stopped at Teluk Intan by a trailer…hahaha…

it was about 8pm sumthing…i just had a turn at the last traffic light from Teluk Intan town going to SEMESTI…for those who are familiar with the kampung roads at that area surely knows that there are no street lights…

i was smoothly cruising my way and out of sudden there’s a trailer perpendicular to my way across the 4-lane straight road…i hit on my brakes but it was way too close already…and i can’t escape either to the left or right because obviously the trailer took the whole space…so,Jack and me went under the centre of the trailer body…BAMM!!!

i was conscious…i heard voices of people…dik,keluar dik…keluar~~~owh…okay…in the blur moment, i gently slipped out from my seatbelt…luckily, i wore my seatbelt at all times…and i reached for the car door…it opened…hahaha…i stepped out and i utter the words…saye nak pegi hospital…

there’s one indian guy offered a lift in his jeep…the journey to the hospital should have taken about 10mins but it took longer because of the jam…this indian guy rolled down the jeep window and keep shouting to the crowd…hey,ini org eksiden treler itu saya antar hospital…

during the journey to the hospital, i keep thinking is this the end?i can recite the syahadah…alhamdulillah…i just keep reciting whatever i can remember at that time while holding my chest…my left hand was protecting my head…my white scarf has turned red…i asked this nice indian guy…pakcik ade hset tak?pinjam…nak call adik…you know laa, my parents at the surau…

so, i called jemi…helo mie…ja eksiden ni…on the way g hospital teluk intan…ok bye…

then, i reached the GH…attendants there quickly admitted me to the emergency room…when i was laid on the stretcher, then only my brain told me…liza, you are in pain…suddenly, i had difficulty in moving my body…i can’t move to the right or left…there’s something tugging at my chest…i had difficulty in breathing…

a general attendant kept asking me whether i feel dizzy…and i was told later by the doctor that if u feel dizzy after been hit, there are possibility that u will have internal bleeding/blood clot…alhamdulillah…i am okay…

i was brought to a preparation room where i had my 7 stitches in the head…then, i was directed to the x-ray room and i was warded…

a nurse came and changed my clothes…one valuable lesson: don’t wear fit clothes…hahaha…got a hard time when u cannot move about…

a doctor came by and instructed a tube of water to be inserted into my vein so that i will not be dehydrated…

now, let me tell a story about this nice couple…they are kak habsah and her husband en rozi…they are my sedare seislam…at the time of blur, i just left jack and all things at the accident site…en rozi was the one who gathered all my belongings and kept them safe at his home…on top of that, kak habsah was the one who accompanied me all along when i was admitted  to the GH…she constantly made phone calls to my family and bring me water and comforted me…this couple even offered to wait for my parents but i insisted that they went back as they still have small children to attend to…kak habsah left their mobile number and a trust was formed between us…

not so long after kak habsah left - nearly 11pm, Sarjan Nasir came…he was a stern officer and he asked for kak habsah’s number…he told me that it was an illegal act to take accident victim’s belongings…i told Sarjan Nasir that these people were nice and they definitely have good intention…alas, it’s not about intention but this is not the right procedure…

when Sarjan Nasir left, i deeply prayed that kak habsah’s family will be fine…

my brother Akmal arrived with his friend about half an hour later…since my condition was stable,he called to inform mama and left to take care of Jack…

i was alone for quite sometime…a nurse advised me to sleep and rest but i just can’t…i need my mama…

at about 2pm, then only my mama arrived…i smiled and my mama shed a tear…i told her i was fine…abah and Jemi left us at the GH to settle down…

i told mama everything from the start while mama fed me…i was really hungry as i’ve not eaten since the accident…mama brought nasi beryani…it was from the surau…

after eating, both of us went to the washroom…that was when i got to see my face and all…a part of my head have been shaved to make way for the stitches…hahaha…i was lucky that my face was not scarred as Jack’s front window does not crash…it just crack and produce spider-web like glass pieces…

me and mama went to bed but both of us can’t sleep…in the morning, mama went to pray at the GH prayer room…

at 8 am, abah and Jemi came…i asked them to bring mama to have breakfast…so, they left me…a nurse came to check on my blood pressure and then removed the tube of water…for breakfast, i was given a cup of hot milo and a red bean bun…

when mama return, kak habsah and en rozi came to visit me…i introduced them to my family…kak habsah told us that Sarjan Nasir came to her house and collect all my belongings…and later abah said that my brother Akmal has claimed them from the IPD Teluk Intan…

when the day shift doctor came to examine me, mama asked for me to be referred to my hometown specialist…it turned out that we have to wait for the GH specialist to confirm my x-ray result…

at 1030 am i was told that my head is okay but i was diagnosed with a heavy sternum fracture…however, mama insisted that i was to be referred and the GH specialist agreed to discharge me…yeay!

my lovely girlfriends came at lunchtime…thanks darlings - abie, beebee, suzie and farah…not to forget, adip the driver…i was so touched…thanks for the magz, flowers, fruits…thanks to the others as well…i was informed that abie told azwa and the news kept buzzing…hahaha…i love you all…

at 2pm, i was discharged…we then went to the IPD Teluk Intan to file a report…i saw Jack there…Sarjan Nasir assured me that the third party is at fault…obviously and definitely…

all the way back to Klang,i endured great pain in the chest…however, i thank God i am still alive and has been given a second chance to enjoy and prosper a better life…i’ve become more humble ever since and has set a different view on what my life should be…

about 12 days has passed since the day of election…and today, the new cabinet ministers of Malaysia pledged to serve and swore their oaths in front of the Agong…the outcome of Malaysia’s 12th General Election really amuses me…everyday the media is airing the post-mortem…hahaha…this might not have happen if the results were pro-government…basically, i’m quite thrilled to witness some changes in Malaysian politics…alhamdulillah, Kelantan is still under PAS ruling…yeay!and what a relief being a Selangor resident to see that Selangor has become one of the States to be ruled by Alternative Coalition’s leadership…It is the right time to put a stop towards so many injustices and corruption being practiced by former elected representatives…the 2008 term has just begun and i just pray that Malaysia will change for the better…we’ll see…

warrgghh…i’ve got a problem that haunts me for almost 3 weeks now…and the problem is i don’t know what is the problem…hmmm?

you see…i define problem as something that troubles my well-being, burdens my brain, draining my physical energies, interrupting my routines, fluctuating my moods and all of these lumps into off-balancing my life…

u need to share your problem…but how can i do that if i don’t even know what’s the problem?hahaha…what a problem laa…

i used to have a problem of not having a problem…

now, i’m having a problem but i don’t know what’s the problem…

this eventually creates another problem of how to know what’s the problem that problems me to have yet the problem of not knowing what’s the problem…

i get stressed out…ohh…how i hate this feeling…i always counter-attack by remaining on positive side…and still, i can never be sure for how much longer can i sustain…

hakhak…i pledge to find serenity in life…becoming wiser…yeay…avoiding scandals…definitely…no more daydreaming…no more longing…owh…what a challenge…

at the moment - basically i’m quite content…pretty dull sometimes but am thankful…

me in 2008 am opening up…learnt a lot theory-wise…

crushes make me suffer…desperados drive me away…charmers confuse me…HE never notices…lol~~~

send someone to love me~~~i need to rest in arms~~~keep me safe from harm and the pouring rain~~~aargghh…this song really tortures my mind and my soul and my heart…why oh why oh why…

i was overwhelmed to know that HE is back to singlehood…

however,at the time of knowing,that info only remains as info for me…oh well…considering that nothing could ever worked out of it…

and then…guess what…i met HIM unexpectedly…

it’s not that i don’t want to…but this is not good as it turns out that i still had the feelings for HIM…

hahahahahahahaha…now the cycle will repeat…

i being me will come to the terms of holding on…

knowing that HE’s single, i will be glad and happy…i’ll just wait from afar…

but somehow if HE’s after somebody, then i will be sad…

i’ll give in but never give up hope though…that’s what holding on means…

it hurts the most when i can’t express my feelings in fear of losing HIM…

why oh why oh why…

my spirit have been lifted up on recent holidays…i’m enjoying different scenarios each time…i went back on 150807 and spend a couple of days accompanying my beloved mom…

on friday 170807,i went to kl and have an A&W luncheon with several PIPE IIans (catching up with L)…at about 3pm, unexpectedly E called and stated that he’s in klcc at that very moment…so, L and i went to meet him at signatures…later, L insisted on going to the sky bridge since she’s never been there…it turned out that E was not permitted to access the twin tower offices as he’s wearing a non-collared T-shirt…ergo, we part there and then leaving me alone to the office as L choose to spend some more time with E…i went up to see my boss to discuss on IP…

at 9pm the same day,i had a movie outing with my besties…4 of us get a go on ‘kayangan’…it was a light storytelling and fazura really stumble-acting as a plain negeri sembilan kampung origin girl…the hero is okay (ala2 hang tuah in PGLM)–>not my type…since he’s indonesian, i guess they are using hans’s voice over…it’s obvious in most of the scenes…the dubbing team did a lousy job…huhuhu…but what i found saddening was the fact that our open-mindedness in film industry seems to follow indonesian’s lead whereby we can easily spotted that dynaz nonchalantly kissed the hero on the cheek in unashamed ardour…i haven’t heard the whole ‘kayangan’ soundtracks but i kinda like the main song ‘kayangan’ sung by ajai and i’m-not-sure-who…so sweet…hakhak…

the next day 180807,me and beebee excitedly went to our first session with sjk saraswathy BAKTI students…we managed to find the school…yeay…no more sesat2…the theme for this session was ‘merdeka moments’…we did accomplished a lot in such a short time…i found that the BAKTI students are fairly bright…there are several slow-paced kids…however,improvements are sure to come…i got a nice feeling being addressed as a ‘teacher’…hehe…

i had my lunch at beebee’s house…i always love her mum’s asam pedas…

in the evening,it’s time for farah’s grand reception in PWTC…i was excited as i’m one of the usherers…together with thiong, we delicately addressed sohabats and teachers to the allocated tables…it was nostalgic to finally met some of the faces that i’ve missed for the past seven years…and ironically, the characters remains the same after all these years…owh, i enjoy the feeling of reunion…we hugged and screamed and jumped and just couldn’t stop talking…the ceremony starts at 830pm when the couple are accompanied into the hall with a doa recitation…farah was so lovely in a white dress…her hubby wore a navy uniform…they walked slowly on the aisle to the garden ‘pelamin’ set upon a stage…then, it was time for the tepung tawar renjis2 session from both families…not so long after that, the couple walked to the high table…we had a food presentation and dinner was commenced…during the dinner session, we had a slide show and farah’s mum made an informal speech approaching table by table…when dessert time approach, farah and hubby had a 5-layers cake cutting ceremony…then, we had a photo session…being SSPians, we took pictures almost at every angle including the high table…we bid farewell to farah and hubby at nearly 11pm…sensing that it is on rare occasion we actually could met in such a big group, we decided to hang out at hartamas square…it was ‘huge’ and hilarious as all of us were parading in our lip lap2 kebayas and high heels and make-ups when crossing the streets…by the time i reached my abang’s house,it was 2am in the morning…nevertheless, it was memorable to all of us…

in the morning of 190807, i went to UPM together with abi and her sister…her sister needs to collect her robe for her upcoming convocation ceremony on 280807…then, we went to Jakel at Jln Masjid India purchasing textiles for abi’s upcoming engagement ceremony - insya-Allah…simultaneously we surveyed for other relevant items for wedding purposes…this, in turn has cheered up abi’s mood as she’s missing her hubby in mozambique…then, we went to SOGO where abi treated us with a Sushi King luncheon…at 3pm,we went back as i’ve promised to bring aina and iman balik kampung to spend their school holidays…

back in klang, on 200807,both my parents had to attend the intensive course for pilgrimage…so, jeleen and i had to entertain our niece and nephew…we went out to watch ‘ratatouille’…i like the story because it’s about cooking but the plot is not that strong…you don’t get to really laugh because it’s not that funny…it’s just simple…in the evening,aina and i finished the big jigsaw puzzle that i gave for her 7th birthday present…

on 210807,my parents are away again for the same reason.that day, we just spent on tutoring my niece and nephew on their school homework…later in the evening, we went to shah alam lake garden…

on 220807, i went to klcc for skg10 engagement session and during the session i just shook my head as i just couldn’t agree with some of the make-believe agendas…some of the contents are great if it can be implemented…i don’t know what to say…just wait and see…

on 240807,i went to have a Secret Recipe luncheon with my besties and niece and nephew…sending the kids back to my abang,i went out again with them but now also bringing afif…we went to buy some doughnuts and later went to the playground…i waited for abi at my abang’s…when abi returned from work, we had soto prepared by bibik for dinner…

that very same day, we went to redbox at 9pm to menyumbangkan lagu…hakhak…there were 4 singing roses plus a thorn…kehkehkeh…correction by suzi: a comel beetle (tepet)…we spent 2 hours there…tepet sung old, rusted songs we’ve never heard of…beebee had a fair share of emotional sad songs…azwa went for a high-pitched collections…abi is the paku dulang (said very shy to sing but was busted)…as for me,i’m versatile…hakhak…thank you my friends…the last part of our karok session,we’ve been given a free remaja magazine (edisi lelaki)…so,it ended up being a reference for tepet…–>article:kenapa lelaki maintain solo?another interesting scene at redbox, me,beebee and tepet happened to meet que haidar (he’s on mobile) in person…he looks like a prankster to me…

on saturday 250807, it was gundat’s wedding reception in dewan tmn ibukota…pedot came with pipah and her new friend to pick me and my niece and nephew…faraiz and me went to tabur2 and renjis2 gundat and shila…it was enjoyable to meet with long-time-no-see faces…had my pic taken with K as we wore the same colour…

oh yaa…what have i missed? that same day of gundat’s wedding reception is also kau ilhamku’s reception…i had the urge to sms him but was forbid by abi…it’s not worth it…yeah…and i agree to that…

lalalalala…there’s this one question that i couldn’t provide a satisfying answer to…

whenever the question of "when" pops up at me, i will just shrug and smile for i can never be sure…there’s so much complexities in it…

i’ve got quite reasonable principles surely…but people will still wouldn’t understand…why bother anyway?!

let the people say what they want to say…let they judge their unjustly thinking…i wouldn’t care much really…

after much considerations, i’ve figured that i’m content with the way i am now…i still have a long way to go…and i’ve discovered that i haven’t found "the one" who can give me the ultimate gift of all - "TIME"…

frankly speaking, i got all the time to spare…yet, i hardly receive any from anyone…

being entirely positive, i let fate to rule and people just wonder incessantly…nevermind though…

girlfriends are wonderful…they lift me up most of the time…and i do believe one of them - M who confides to me that it’s just a matter of time, sooner or later, all of us will find our soulmate, God’s willing…keep faith…

hahaha…love your present…simply addressing you to be grateful of what you have now…at the moment…

and seriously no buts…

that’s where the problem is…

i’ve always been motivated by several inspirational lines which promised happiness to the one who is contented with fate of life…

do i get the message?really?!!

i can’t even tell…

surely there are several moments that i felt overjoyed…

and there are always gloomy times as well…

perhaps it’s best for me to really be grateful…

everything will be fine then…

i do hope so…

being simply sentimentally-nostalgic type truly doesn’t help you…

it haunts you…

my next resolution is to get rid of friends who are not your friends…

aah…what a relief…

in the case of being grateful altogether…